51 Indicators of a graduate student in USA

Lots of things happen in one's lives which despite the underlying seriousness are best taken in a humorous stride. In the same spirit, here goes a list of signs and indicators of being a graduate student in USA.

DISCLAIMER: Since this derives from experiences of people around me, you may find certain items to be specific to international students. Nevertheless, it should be an interesting read for all.

You know you are a graduate student in USA when :

1. you wipe instead of washing (think morning).
2. you make a night suit out of an oversized T-shirt you got for free.
3. you submit assignments on one sided sheets taken from previously submitted assignments.
4. your conversation starters revolve around grocery rates.
5. your conversation ends in "Have you got any aid ?'.
6. phrase "Friday nights" elicits an image of a long line of students in front of a desk full of pizza.
7. phrase "Bollywood night" elicits an image of belly dancers.
8. in your nightmare you reach the end of "free drinks line" only to find cans and cans of Dr. Pepper left.
9. your mall trips are triggered by a bunch of coupons nearing expiry.
10. eating out is synonymous with free pizza at campus.
11. you train your nose to pick up smell of free food in campus.
12. you train your eyes to spot a trail of people in (10).
13. you have your meals at McD & Subway.
14. as a group you order only one cold drink & then share refills.
15. the only 'orkuttable' photo from last night's party at home was of you washing dishes.
16. you use carabines instead of key rings.
17. you have more bottle holders than bottles.
18. while going through grocery items, you divide rates by their weight to find the lowest unit price.
19. you pay frequent visits to nearby church but for TT/foosball.
20. you claim to be a racquetball champion even though you do not know half of the rules.
21. 50% of your mails in sent mail folder are requests for assistantships.
22. other 50% are seeking internships.
23. after-class talk goes like "So where is free pizza tonight ?".
24. you browse Youtube like you would surf channels on TV.
25. learn virtues of eating/sleeping on ground.
26. bedbugs (US cousins of khatmal) become a REAL issue.
27. you take an insurance based on cost instead of coverage.
28. path to Walmart goes through your senior's place.
29. your arguments with roommate are over which ice-cream flavour to buy.
30. you learn the 'grocery balancing act' on bicycles.
                       OR
    you start building biceps out of carrying grocery.
31. you count no. of scratches on walls for lease agreement.
32. you have to convince people for part-time jobs that despite being an engineer, you know MS Office well.
33. you have to spell out your name umpteenth time only to be misspelled again.
34. you attend a conference on "" for free pizza.
35. you open a bank a/c for the free USB drive that comes along with it.
36. you pay frequent visits to your bank for the free cookies.
37. you agree to be the subject of an experiment just because it pays.
38. you always appear either busy or idle on GTalk.
39. PhD Comics replaces your daily dose of Garfield.
40. you start breathing papers and juggling references.
41. have chicken patties instead of chicken tandoori for dinner.
42. you stare at other Indians like they are aliens just landed from Mars.
43. 99% of mails in your postbox are free coupons from nearby stores.
44. you count no. of days or even hours to your India visit.
45. you leave metric measurement system for US system.
46. you carry passport as ID to a pub.
47. cyclones, red light, petrol, lift, bicycle & Indian become hurricanes, set of lights, ride, bike & desi respectively.
48. the only time you wake up early in morning is on the day of course registration.
49. you brainstorm for days over which mobile connection plan to buy.
50. you claim to patronise a long hair style till the next hair salon coupon comes in your hand.
51. write such blogs.

$P
(enroute to Chicago)