Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega

In an earlier post, I talk about how love for one and all defines the essence of good character. You might think that what has got into this nerd who keeps on talking about love so persistently. But frankly, it is just a set of coincidences. So lets get going with it.

Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega is a phrase in Hindi which means Every Heart That Loves. Apart from sharing the title with a moderately popular Bollywood flick, this blog has got nothing else to do with it. The trigger incident for this happened a week back. It was a normal day full of mind boggling research, exciting classes, equally exciting job and lots of cycling around. In night time, my roommate Captain Haddock (name changed on request) comes upto me and says that "I have got something to discuss with you". Now when a roommate says this to you, the topic under question can vary widely from "What to cook for dinner tonight ?" to "Who is supposed to vacuum room this week ?" to "Which nubile woman to have for room wallpaper ?". I was naturally indifferent. What shook me out of this indifference was the revelation that our Mr. Roommate was no longer in control of his heart.

Apparently there was this new girl in block (and if you know anything about statistics of likeable women in postgraduate studies, you would know that they stand right next to endangered species) which had set his heart fluttering. He had been meeting her now & then & apparently needed some guidance from me (poor soul) on 'how to take things further'. Now Mr. Roommate has not got a reputation in these matters and it was very much unexpected.

In India, it is still common for people to undertake what is referred to as "arranged marriages" where your parents choose a spouse for you. Depending upon family, you may get to have no or substantial say over these matters. These marriages are considered different from "love marriages" where you yourself set the ball rolling by choosing your spouse yourself. Marriages of latter type unfortunately still have a stigma attached to them and many people voluntarily stay away from it for reasons ranging from not wanting to hurt parents to not wanting to get into the mess.

Statistically (atleast in my times, I am sure statistics have changed now), many such romantic relations would bud in college time i.e. undergraduate studies (note the disclaimer earlier). Therefore if you find a person's status as single after graduation, it might either mean you did not find somebody good enough (btw, statistics for likeable women in undergraduate are far more encouraging than its graduate counterpart) or else you plan to make it an "arranged affair". And this was the reason why I found this piece of news a revelation.

Whenever i think of that incident now, I am reminded of this phrase which is a constant reminder that every heart is capable of love.

So my concept of normal day has been modified to include a 5 minute status update over this 'critical matter'. As for our Mr. Roommate, he gets to share my pearls of wisdom (he is very soon going to realise that they are virtually none) over wooing girls. Best of luck Haddock.. !!

Houston Rendezvous

After a long hiatus, a specific event coupled with some free time at my new job allowed me to blog. I recently visited Houston. It was strange in that I had been there so many times but never had enough time or opportunity to explore it like a tourist. Countless times I would just shift from my airline to ground shuttle (or other way round) with just about enough time to take a walk in the airport terminals. I used to while away time browsing its many terminal shops and take photographs. Once I had been to the roof to watch the Houston in its full glory and twice I have took free rides in its terminal shuttle.

My longest stride in Houston would have to be a couple of blocks long walk in Houston downtown while waiting for a bus. Having said this Houston will have a special position in my heart. I spent my first night in this Texan airport having been unable to catch the last shuttle. Houston is in some sense a lifeline for all Aggies to rest of the world being the nearest international airport with cheap rides available on weekends.

Naturally I was very much lookin forward to visiting Hosuton properly. It is a feeling that you get when you have that first talk with one of your acquaintances which leads you to know him/her better and thereafter you become friends. The trip travelogue would probably be reserved for another blog but to tell in short, I loved it.

Houston is a huge city with very extensive road system catering to it. Houston has a black majority and is #1 obese city in US. While downtown offers skyscrapers (Chase tower is 4th tallest in US) and exuberant nightlife, La Galleria provides shop-till-you-drop experience. Museum district is full of museums on themes that one can imagine and lots of well-maintained parks with well planned activity centers. Houston Gulf area has San Jacinto monument - symbol of Texas freedom, Kemah boardwalk along the bay and NASA Space Center. Alas but for the smart management of Houston transit, no weekend buses run for gulf area and hence a poor graduate student like me had to contend with keeping it on hold for another trip. Wait ..did somebody say another trip. Maybe the management guys were smart after all.

What does good character mean for you ?

Recently I found myself staring at above as an essay topic for a scholarship application. Being the scholarship starved guy I am, I set about to write an essay & in the process got to know a bit more about myself as well.

DISCLAIMER: The essay is an ORIGINAL piece of work and the sources mentioned in essay have been duly attributed. The essay had a limit of 8000 characters & was written in a hurry (so thought layout maybe a bit haphazard).

What constitutes good character ? Some one has so rightly said that as a question gets simpler, it becomes more difficult to answer. I am a technologist. Ask me to solve a double differential complex Laplacian equation any day and I would have the answer ready in under fifteen minutes. But when it comes to answering questions such as these, you need to take a step back and concentrate on all your life's experiences and learning to arrive at the answer. For all that we know, this may very well be a research topic of a smart guy in sociology.

So let us try to explore this 'good character'. Following words have been traditionally used to define good character:
a) honesty
b) fidelity
c) commitment
d) trustworthiness.
But is this all that it takes to have a good character or is there is more than meets the eye. I am tempted to quote the example of six blind men each declaring an elephant to be a wall, knife, tree, rope, pipe and fan. Similarly all of above attributes may be found in a person of good character but these by themselves do not make a person "good character". In words of a mathematician, these are the necessary but not sufficient condition of having a good character.

In a recent survey done online, audience was asked to rate various attributes on how closely they relate to good character for them. Each participant could vote for multiple attributes thus allowing a subjective opinion to be taken. Interestingly enough, collective user's opinion rated three attributes ABOVE all other qualities in how closely they represented good character for them and none of those were from the list of conventional words above. They are presented below in order of ratings :
1) Respect and consideration for others
2) Courage to "do the right thing"
3) Admitting and correcting mistakes

A close inspection of above three attributes reveals that there is a common thread that binds these attributes together and that is of love. This love is not towards a specific person but for the whole world. A person who is wholeheartedly in love with this world - various creations of god that manifest in nature and variegated experiences that unite together to form what we call life - is one who has an innate respect and consideration for others. Such a person derives courage from this inexhaustible source of energy called love to do what is the right thing to do. Such a person understands the humble role that he has to play in this universe and does not allow ego or arrogance to come in way of amending his own mistakes. Thus it is the love for one and all that makes a person honest, committed, trustworthy and loyal.

Let us consider an example to see the power that love holds. A guy in love with a girl will be concerned about her. He will take care of her, vow to stay together for whole life, put her needs in front of him and remain loyal to her. But if the same person one day magically falls out of love with this girl, he will neither be caring nor respectful of her.Although this example does not pertain directly to good character but it shows the strength that love can hold even if directed towards a particular individual. Now imagine the same love but instead directed towards all world in general (& humanity in particular). A love that stems from thankfulness to god for creating this beautiful world and considering us worthy enough to be placed here. This love neither holds any boundaries nor any prejudices. It is an unconditional love that arises from an appreciation towards the pure harmony and balance existing between various forces that may be to provide such a splendid world.

It is this love that makes a person do 'the right things' no matter what. It is this love that makes one keep other's concerns ahead of his even if it means admitting and correcting one's mistakes. It is this love indeed that marks a person of truly good character. In my opinion therefore, good character means to harbour unconditional love for one and all.

I would like to conclude by quoting the lines from a popular ad campaign by Discovery channel "I love the whole world. It's such a beautiful thing". The next time you see somebody humming this song, smile for you are looking at a person of good character.

$
PS: So much work for just an essay !! I do hope I get the scholarship :-)

51 Indicators of a graduate student in USA

Lots of things happen in one's lives which despite the underlying seriousness are best taken in a humorous stride. In the same spirit, here goes a list of signs and indicators of being a graduate student in USA.

DISCLAIMER: Since this derives from experiences of people around me, you may find certain items to be specific to international students. Nevertheless, it should be an interesting read for all.

You know you are a graduate student in USA when :

1. you wipe instead of washing (think morning).
2. you make a night suit out of an oversized T-shirt you got for free.
3. you submit assignments on one sided sheets taken from previously submitted assignments.
4. your conversation starters revolve around grocery rates.
5. your conversation ends in "Have you got any aid ?'.
6. phrase "Friday nights" elicits an image of a long line of students in front of a desk full of pizza.
7. phrase "Bollywood night" elicits an image of belly dancers.
8. in your nightmare you reach the end of "free drinks line" only to find cans and cans of Dr. Pepper left.
9. your mall trips are triggered by a bunch of coupons nearing expiry.
10. eating out is synonymous with free pizza at campus.
11. you train your nose to pick up smell of free food in campus.
12. you train your eyes to spot a trail of people in (10).
13. you have your meals at McD & Subway.
14. as a group you order only one cold drink & then share refills.
15. the only 'orkuttable' photo from last night's party at home was of you washing dishes.
16. you use carabines instead of key rings.
17. you have more bottle holders than bottles.
18. while going through grocery items, you divide rates by their weight to find the lowest unit price.
19. you pay frequent visits to nearby church but for TT/foosball.
20. you claim to be a racquetball champion even though you do not know half of the rules.
21. 50% of your mails in sent mail folder are requests for assistantships.
22. other 50% are seeking internships.
23. after-class talk goes like "So where is free pizza tonight ?".
24. you browse Youtube like you would surf channels on TV.
25. learn virtues of eating/sleeping on ground.
26. bedbugs (US cousins of khatmal) become a REAL issue.
27. you take an insurance based on cost instead of coverage.
28. path to Walmart goes through your senior's place.
29. your arguments with roommate are over which ice-cream flavour to buy.
30. you learn the 'grocery balancing act' on bicycles.
                       OR
    you start building biceps out of carrying grocery.
31. you count no. of scratches on walls for lease agreement.
32. you have to convince people for part-time jobs that despite being an engineer, you know MS Office well.
33. you have to spell out your name umpteenth time only to be misspelled again.
34. you attend a conference on "" for free pizza.
35. you open a bank a/c for the free USB drive that comes along with it.
36. you pay frequent visits to your bank for the free cookies.
37. you agree to be the subject of an experiment just because it pays.
38. you always appear either busy or idle on GTalk.
39. PhD Comics replaces your daily dose of Garfield.
40. you start breathing papers and juggling references.
41. have chicken patties instead of chicken tandoori for dinner.
42. you stare at other Indians like they are aliens just landed from Mars.
43. 99% of mails in your postbox are free coupons from nearby stores.
44. you count no. of days or even hours to your India visit.
45. you leave metric measurement system for US system.
46. you carry passport as ID to a pub.
47. cyclones, red light, petrol, lift, bicycle & Indian become hurricanes, set of lights, ride, bike & desi respectively.
48. the only time you wake up early in morning is on the day of course registration.
49. you brainstorm for days over which mobile connection plan to buy.
50. you claim to patronise a long hair style till the next hair salon coupon comes in your hand.
51. write such blogs.

$P
(enroute to Chicago)

Journey of Quarters

It is amazing how time flies, especially when you are enjoying it. Not so long ago, I remember walking across the kitchen only to be slapped. Yes, that constitutes the earliest memory of my life !! I don't even remember the reason for being slapped. I do remember being consoled though...

Not all memories of my life are that unhappy. But yes, I do realise that when you turn 25, you have lived a quarter of your life, to be speaking very optimistically. Considering the wild streak in me, make it very very optimistically. :-) So what comes next ? Well you can expect one of the following from a blog that starts off the way this one did :

1. Describing the journey so far.
2. Reliving some of the highs and lows.
3. Evaluating one's progress in whatever be the judging parameters.
4. Making some resolutions for the future from lessons of past.

Normally I try to do all of above (mentally) but this blog is for a different purpose. Let us take a small detour in understanding this. Suppose you meet a long lost friend. How will the normal discussion proceed ? I for one would normally find out what the chap is up to now-a-days & then try to interpolate from what I knew of him/her from the past. This is what many call 'joining the dots'. Unfortunately when you join the dots, you use lines.

To explain with an example, if my friend earned 12 quarters per hour three years back and 24 quarters now, you would assume that he/she earned 20 quarters an year back and 16 quarters two years back. Though it saves your brain for putatively better tasks (such as catching up on latest movie songs ??), this is all but a compromise. And this compromise called JLC (short for Joining Lines Compromise) will manifest in the conversation as :

• "It is a long story, listen.." (close friend).
• "You NEVER check on me.." (beloved)
• "I knew you since you were THIS small.." (relative)
• "Abe, chodh yaar.." (not-so-close friend)
• "Now is not the time.." (former colleague, who is more interested in making quarters rather than talking to you)
• "How/Where/What are you.." (Beware! Could mean that the friend has forgotten about you, and wants to figure you out without making it apparent)
• "Bhul gaya ??". This one happens often if you are quarter-amnesic like me !!

So what am I arriving at ? Well, I know a bunch of people in this world whom I consider to be in my sphere of influence. They can influence me just as I can influence them. I intend to drive the point that atleast for these people, I would like to draw not lines but exact curves (B-splines for the geek-minded) between points. This means that if you meet me next time (in real or online), bore me to death with what's happening in your lives. If you find me silent in between, know that I am not a verbose person. Don't stop till you finish or find me in a quarter-conscious state. Believe me, I would love it.

To explain using our earlier example of 12 and 24 quarters over three years, it would imply that my friend earned...ahem.. well I guess I will leave the B-spline calculation part to you folks. I am sure you got the gist of it.

PS: Wondering why the blog was titled so...did you miss anything ? Yes, that is our JLC at work again.

$P

Howdy

Second mail from the series described in previous post:

That is probably the first thing you would learn in Texas. People here say Howdy instead of Hi. It is a short form for "How you doing ?".

Resuming from Houston airport, in the morning I was waiting to catch my Groundshuttle at 9:30am. However around 8:30am I met a senior (an Indian) in airport who was also waiting for the bus. We both agreed to rent a car to college instead of waiting for bus. Here in US you can rent a car cheaply & return it at convenient points. He drove & I navigated (using a map). As it was registration day, so I knew that I would not find Apoorv or Amrinder in their homes. The senior then helped me find a room to keep my luggage & dropped me inside the college.

That day & next few days were VERY busy. I had to clear so many formalities & get so many things done & at the same time try to meet various professors & depts for financial aid. Gradually however things became smooth & by the next weekend I had handled home, grocery, mobile, bank, I card, fees, bicycle & other issues.

LIVING
The apartment has two rooms, one each for both of us. Each room has a big wardrobe (a first for me) & a window. The apartment has central AC, a kitchen & bathroom & has carpeted floors. For laundry we have to walk to nearby apartments. By now, we have also bought a vacuum cleaner, iron & toaster. Usually we go on weekends for grocery & on alternate weekends for laundry. For now Abhinav does most of the cooking while I do most of the cleaning. :-) We soon plan to have internet in our homes as well. College is just 5mins walk away & the area is quite safe so that it is not a problem even if we return very late. During free time we go to a nearby church here where we can play table tennis & foosball. The locality is mostly Indian & they also play cricket here during weekends. I am yet to calculate but I guess the cost of living per person should be under 350$/month incl home, mobile, utilities & grocery.

COLLEGE
College is VERY VERY huge. The core campus area is over 5000 acres !! We have free buses running inside & outside campus frequently. They also go to nearby stores & imp areas. Thanx to this, till now I have not had to pay even a single cent for travel. Texas A&M has the strongest traditions & they take it very seriously. They call themselves Aggies, are mad about American football (which is actually played with hands), have a bitch (she-dog) called Madam Reveille for their mascot & have different signs & calls for different student years. Favourite colour is maroon & they hate orange which is the colour of nearby rival college (Texas Austin). The campus is very well maintained & beautiful (although not as much as NSIT). All the buildings here are well-equipped be it the academic departments or the sports centre. The sports centre here is probably bigger than the size of two stadiums & besides the building there are around seven different stadiums for football, soccer, baseball, swimming & other games. There are lots of cafeteria, libraries & games centres all around the campus most of which are open till midnight. Also there is a flag room here which is called the living room of university. There is no other way to describe it, it is just like a living room where students can study, sleep, talk, play piano or just hang around.

STUDIES
It has been a week since studies have started & till now it appears ok. There are about 15-25 students in a class & professors here are very open. Some of them even allow students to bring in food in class. I have taken courses from Imaging & VLSI areas. For now I have not got any professor to do reasearch under. I have got dept scholarship of 1000$ & half tuition fees. I have also got a job in Dining Services for 7$/hour, 20hours/week. In between I had enrolled in an experiment in which I had earned 40$ but that was just one-time. Although I have to take just 9hours of classes in a week but the studies that we will have to do outside the class is going to take most of our time. I have enrolled in few student organisations to keep myself involved in campus activities as well.

APART FROM STUDIES
Before the classes had started there were lots of parties & free-eatouts for students from different clubs & organisations. For many days we didnt have to make food at home because of these events. They give away free stuff like anything. By now I must have got 6-7 T-shirts, cowboy hat, bag, a bundle of staionery & sports items, maps n what not - all for free ! As I said during our free time we either go to church for playing or stay at home listening to songs. Recently we have started to go to sports centre of our college as well. Akka, we have started getting lots of free shopping coupons in our postbox as well.

I have made few trips to tourist spots inside college & a short trip on my bicycle to a nearby town called Bryan. Probably in next few weeks we will do more travelling. Oh I forgot there is a VERY HUGE cinema hall here inside campus where they have free movie screenings.

Probably just like all around US, even strangers here greet each other if they come across. Sometime the greetings get a bit too painful as even if in a hurry you have to go through the "Hello how are you, I am fine, thank you" rituals. I had won a free ticket to women soccer match (here the normal football is called soccer & is more popular amongst women). As i was telling about Aggie traditions, here they have a ceremony called Midnight Yell which as the name tells you is a midnight yell. For this seeemingly crazy event, thousands of students assemble in the football stadium & yell in support of their team. They also have Yell leaders who co-ordinate this. I have took some photos which I will email you.

I hope I have covered as much as practically possible in two mails. Ofcourse in reality there is much more happening here, but I will try to keep you posted. It is possible that in next few weeks I may not be able to come online as frequently as now as studies will slowly pick up pace.

USA Ahoy !

Having neglected my blog for too long, I decided that I would start off even if it means copying some of my emails. It is not that I do not have anything happening in my life. Actually there is so much happening that it becomes difficult to keep everyone posted. What I do to answer that is an interesting thing that could be the subject of another post!! So coming back to topic, I copy some of my emails as posts here.

Following was first of the two part email that I had sent to my near & dear ones. No, converse is not true, so if u did not get the email, it doesn't mean that you're not my near & dear one. It just means that I was saving some viewers for my blog.

Now that I am relatively settled here, I thought I would write a mail to
tell you what all has been happening here:

31st Aug : After taking off from New Delhi, I realised all of a sudden
that there was too much free time with me. So I utlitised it in part
with my plan of what to do after I land & in part with watching movies
in aeroplane. I must have watched atleast 7-8 movies but the one that I
remember most was Ratatouille. While flying over London I could watch
the London Eye which is a huge merry-go-round. In each flight I made
sure I talked a bit to the person flying with me (British, Nigerian &
American). At each airport that I landed I made sure I explored every
part of it.

The flight was mostly vacant till London but after that it was full.
Flight over Atlantic Ocean did not have much to see except the blue
ocean & white clouds. Infact we were at so much height, the ocean seemed
to be frozen in time. Due to passing time zones, this whole flight
appeared to be one long afternoon. It finally ended when i landed in New
York. It is by far the best airport that I have seen till to date. After
getting through formalities, I realised that my next flight had got
delayed. Therefore I had a light dinner in airport itself. That also
tested my dollar card for the first time. One interesting thing in NY
airport was a multi-religion chamber where people from different faith
could come & pray. It was just a silent room with place to keep your
shoes outside. By the time I reached Boston it was already around 11pm
(a total of 26hours flight !). I wasnt too drowsy as I was sleeping for
most of the time in my NY-Boston flight. Jijaji & Kunal had come to pick
me up.

01st Aug to 10thAug : Next 11 days were spent really great. I not only
learned a great deal about American life but also had fun along the way.
For most of the time I was there, a friend of Jijaji had also come with
his family, so it was like one big reunion. Perhaps because Mummy & Anna
had given me so much info about Nashua & US, I knew exactly what to
expect & on seeing the beautiful scenes in Nashua & NY during my flights
before, I felt familiar with them ! The home at Nashua is very very big
in comparison to the homes that we see in India & also quite beautiful.
It also had few birds around for me to start clicking my camera. But
perhaps the most fascinating part was to visit the shopping malls such
as Walmart, CircuitCity, BestBuy which were a treat to watch. Although
malls here look very boring from outside unlike the malls in Delhi, but
from inside they are similar. I also got to taste McD & other food
outlets here. We also went to a mini-golf course, driving range,
baseball practice court & an ice cream parlour which was fun.

Amidst all these, days just seemed to fly between visiting malls &
playing with Rohan. One thing that needs mention here is the search for
a 'laptop deal'. I am sure jijaji must be smiling as he reads this. Not
having decided on any laptop before, it took several days for me &
jijaji to finalise on one laptop & when we did, we realised we had
ordered at the wrong place. After a lot of phone calls made by me &
Jijaji, we finally managed to cancel our online order (which would have
taken too long to deliver) & purchase it from a BestBuy store. Last few
days were spent in packing, data transfer & last-moment shopping. Thanx
to Jijaji, Akka, Kunal & Rohan (whom I saw for the first time), I had a
really great time in Nashua NH.

10th Aug : The day of flight did not seem to be right with thunderstorms & hails
falling & when I saw my first flight getting delayed my premonition was
proved correct. Due to delay in my first flight, I missed my connecting
flight to Texas as a result of which I not only reached Texas around
11pm but I also missed my groundshuttle bus which would have taken me to
college area (1.5hrs drive from airport). Taxi was an expensive option &
I was not confident about rental car. So I had no choice but to stay the
whole night in airport. I shifted my baggage to an area where
receptionist could see me & slept while keeping my legs/arms over my
luggage. Lots of other people were also doing the same thing.

11th Aug onwards : To be continued... (I am sure I've bored you enough
already)